Helpful notes for myself. Feel free to add these to your own lists.
1. Never fly with Sarah.
I have enough stress in my life, why would I want to be delayed every time I'm planning on going somewhere?
2. Don't ride fair rides.
They're never as fun as you wish they'd be. Also, who wants to spend 20 bucks to inhale carny smoke?
3. Don't eat yellow snow.
It's usually not a lemon snow cone, especially if a teenage boy that has no access to either a blender nor lemons hands it to you. He's not smiling because it tastes good.
4. Don't listen to political commercials.
John McCain doesn't love faltering economies, and Barack Obama probably isn't Paris Hilton.
5. Step on a crack, break your momma's back.
Fault lines count too!
6. Turn around and smoke the crack...break your mother's heart.
Okay, so that one wasn't mine - thank you Bo Burnham.
7. He probably didn't go to Jared.
What a bunch of awful TV commercials.
8. Don't expect much out of the Tigers.
100 million dollars and they're 4 games under .500? Is this the mid-May Yankees?
9. Expect even less from the Lions.
Bring back Harrington!
10. Don't tell Brett Favre he's done.
Who are you - oh the guy who keeps retiring. I thought that was a one time gig?
11. Don't tell Heath Ledger he's dead.
12. Don't trust Kwame Kilpatrick.
Must have read those text messages wrong.
13. Don't mistake The Onion for a serious newspaper.
The same goes for the Detroit Free Press.
14. Michigan roads have always been, and will always be closed for construction.
Does anybody have stock in those cone producing factories?
15. Root for Michigan football.
There's a 90% chance they'll be better than Notre Dame.